Regal Rap 2K5


It’s that time of tha year again, the Regal Rap
Time for C-H Ris to talk about this and that
Here’s a fact about Tia, I don’t respect her
Who can show love for a girl that’s a home wrecker
What kind of person breaks up a perfect marriage
Looks like my girl Meg won’t be seein’ a baby in a carriage
Maybe she will, but not by Kevin Kryger
What type of grown man, marries a lady and leaves her
For some lil’ fling, that’s gonna last a month or two
He had a girl who took tha oath and said “I Do”
That’s funny, cause he’ll never find a girl to say that again
What stupid girl would want Kevin for more than a friend
Meg or Tia, hmmm, that’s real hard to choose
Pickin’ Tia is tha only way for Kevin to lose
Why have a girl who’s always coked up and drunk off booze
At least Meg has bigger than double-A size boobs
“Bro’s before ho’s”, Kevin broke tha only guy rule
But I got u’r back Kryg, I guess Tia is kinda kool
I’m not gonna lie, she does have a nice butt
But so do must girls who turn out to be sluts
Only reason you like Tia, she’s easy as A…B…D
And you’re her third choice, cause she couldn’t have C
Actually, should be A…B…E, she couldn’t have D either
D as in Doug Epps, had to diss her and leave her
He made out with her once, said her breath smelled like ass
And he’d rather kiss Oscar, who lives in tha trash
I’ve never heard of breath bein’ that damn tart
I can’t believe he told me it smelt like elephant fart
All this time and I thought Tia was smart
But I guess it’s kool, cause you got Kevin’s heart
Take my word Tia, he’s gonna end up with Meg
Cause 3 days ago, she came in and gave him head
At my Halloween party, Kevin came with his real girl
Hit em both off son, have tha best of both worlds
I saw Kevin and Tia go in tha punch room alone at 8:44
At 8:53 she comes out, couldn’t have been too hardcore
But just enough time to make out or get some head
“We were talkin’ about what we’re doin tonight” he said
Those two lie more than President Bill ever did
Meg watch out, in 8 ½ months, Tia’s havin’ u’r mans kid
Erica says stand sideways, you look like a flamingo
Better that, than her, lookin’ like a gay Mandingo
I love Tia, cause she’s clever, I really do love her
Real clever cause she knocked over tha whole thing of butter
If you didn’t hear, November 30th, she spilled the butter machine
A gallon of butter on concession floor is what she had to clean
It was oil, not butter, my bad, I made a mistake
Like what Kevin’s doin, choose Meg for heaven’s sake
Plus I don’t think you know how to handle black chicks
They’re used to black dudes, who pack, and have big dicks
No offense, but 6 inches ain’t gonna cut it
Remember ‘Dreamcatcher’, doesn’t Kevin look like Duddits
Kevin’s is still bigger than Chad Michael Murray
Whom Tia’s in love with, her vision must be blurry
Tia told me she wants me, but I’m not her type
She only likes it if you’re Italian or White
You ever notice Tia has a big upper lip
Tia could hit Frontier Field if she was to spit
Not to mention her abnormally big forehead
All these problems, this girl needs some miracle meds
Kevin’s tha bitch of tha relationship, cause she always beats him
She punches him in tha face and kicks him in tha shin
Speakin of punchin in tha face, I accidentally punched Tawni
Who moved up in my eyes, went to Mike from Ronnie
Tia dropped outta Cortland, cause she drank too much
And tha President their was pissed she couldn’t roll a dutch
But bein’ with Kevin you’re gonna pick up a few things
Like tha difference between stick, stems & seeds in greeny green
So when you go back next year, you’ll show tha Pres. you got it
Cause u know tha difference between tha good stuff and rotted
You can let tha whole fuckin’ world know you ain’t wetarded
You just smell like shit, cause your ass just farted
Kevin was co-mvp when we played flip cup
9 times outta 10, we kicked tha other teams butt
9 times outta 10, we flipped it on our first try
But 10 times outta 10, we made tha other team cry
Meg was on tha other team and she sucked at tha game
Me, Kevin & Phil, only employees in Flip Cup Hall of Fame
Tia & Meg are like Jayme and Liz
One gets fucked cause tha other pried in their biz
Had to mess with their man, ruin a good relationship
And both Megan and Elizabeth walked out and quit
Not just tha relationship, they both quit regal
Outta Tia & Jayme, its hard to choose who’s more evil
Jayme has chipmunk cheeks and there always red
Is it true you gave your best friends, brother head
She tells me, “don’t joke with Erica, be serious”
I don’t like Erica, are you blind or just delirious
Jayme’s a home wrecker too, wait till Liz beats her ass
Actually she’s too mature for that, she’s got a lil’ more class
They’re children, J & Erica, combined age of twenty-two
If only they could stay out past their mom’s curfew
Erica told me once, she had to be home by 10
I thought not bad, then realized it’s tha damn weekend
During tha weekday, she’s gotta be in by 8
She says to me, “I told you I can stay up late”
Erica does Jayme’s hair one day at my house
She fucked her hair up, came out lookin’ like a mouse
We go to Buffalo Wild Wings, I shove wings in their face
I shouldn’t cause their belly’s hang over their waist
Erica walks like a penguin, wobbling back and forth
Jayme’s got these huge teeth that resemble a horse
Erica calls me a donkey, but she’s tha jackass
But this is her 2nd year taking a 9th grade class
She thinks she’s madd hot, cause she’s got blue eyes
And a big onion booty, cause it makes me cry
She’s got a little crush on me, which is kinda sweet
But hun, its not just you, I made every girls heart weak
Jayme actually kissed me twice, farther than Erica got
Erica tried to make out wit me, I told her to stop
J sat tha bench in soccer for an entire year
There was 8th graders who played more than her this year
Erica’s just as bad when it comes to volleyball
Cause even tha 7th graders that played didn’t run into walls
Erica said she’d make out with Jayme if she got that drunk
At my party, they just drank, and their minds just sunk
They were makin’ out faster than Hasan chasin’ fat broads
Faster than Tia Thomas tryin’ to get to Kevin’s rod
Like American Wedding, Erica comes to my party as a dirty cop
With the handcuffs, so me and her can stay on lock
Jayme comes as the devil girl with tha horns on her head
Walkin’ in with her chipmunk cheeks lookin bright red
Erica can’t leave her house cause Jayme can’t pick her up
If you weren’t 13 you could drive your own pick-up truck
Erica’s failin’ school cause she always sleeps thru class
Or goes home early so she can give Jeremy some ass
I can’t say, but I heard from a source she cheated on Jeremy
No surprise, cause girls cheatin’ is not a rarity
Doesn’t Erica resemble Princess Fiona from Shrek
Or did you ever notice, she’s got a really long neck
Jayme thinks she’s pimpin in her new red car
Too bad her mommy and daddy won’t let her drive past dark
By 5:00, Jayme’s car has to be in the driveway
Her mom said “Gimme tha car or listen to what I say”
So J calls me cryin’ sayin’ her mom is mean
Jayme doesn’t get paid enough to fill her car with gasoline
Julie says there’s a party at her house, I go and see 4 dudes
I said “damn this” and hopped back into my Prelude
I go again, same thing, then here comes Tia
Her and Julie both got tipsy off Sangria
They drank a whole gallon of that Mexican juice
No wonder everyone at Regal calls Tia loose
Hasan shows up and then leaves with Julie’s friend
I saw tha smile on his face, he thought he was hittin’ some skin
But little does he know, she just used him for a ride
She had absolutely no intention of lettin’ Hasan get inside
That’s a place where he’s never been and probably never will
He couldn’t be sick with game even if he was ill
Julie’s country as hell, comin’ far from Ohio
From a 40-acre farm, that’s damn near a mile
Walks around with straw in her mouth and a bit straw hat
Steppin’ up to Kevin Kryger like she wants combat
You better not want jack, cause I got Kevin’s back
Tia’s got his front, and he’s got her rack
How are Tia & Julie friends, they both got crushes on Kevin
One’s gonna kill tha other, but neither one will go to heaven
“I’m Sofa King, We Todd Did”
That’s what Tia’s gonna name her and Kevin’s kid
Keep sayin’ it fast and over again, you’ll see what it means
Except for Tia, who’s slow, but she also seems…
“Sofa Kingdom”, cause she’s a big airhead
And might die, red dot on her head from Meg’s infrared
Kevin better always remember bro’s before ho’s
And Tia’s a big one, she’s got knee pads sewn in her clothes
She stays on her knees like she’s got no bottom legs
“She’s gettin’ sloppy seconds”, that’s comin from Meg
Andrew’s dumb ass put butter in tha machine without the bowl
He said “havin closers get out late is my goal”
I heard from a source, Randy and Phillippa had a thing
What started out as bein’ drunk, turned more into a fling
It was a one-night stand, but neither one was standin
He had her screamin’ his name like…Ra-Ran-Randy
Tha funny thing is that she was gone before he awoke
He got used, more than he over doses on coke
At my party, they were drunk and made out all night
Quote from Randy “Oh my God that ass was tight”
At all my party’s Randy challenges people to dance
But how many girls can he get in there pants
He won’t challenge me that, he won’t win one day
He told Kevin his ass isn’t only used as a one-way
I can’t believe he wants Kev to stick it in that place
Couple months ago he hated him for smackin him in tha face
He got so furious, he went and cried to Big Dave
Got called to tha office, but Kevin walked in brave
Dave got in that ass and Kevin came out cryin’
Cause Dave didn’t believe tha story that Randy was lyin’
A couple times I see Hasan goin to Phillippa’s car
And 4 times outta 4, they don’t drive too far
Tha car moves around a lot, but doesn’t go 1 inch
Somehow he gets mad, leaves tha car and calls her a winch
For some reason I think he wants a lil’ more than she gives
He betta not hit it, he’ll end up with kids or Hiv
They make movie dates, he bails out and never shows up
That’s’ cause he’s too busy at Sams Club kissin’ manager butt
Tha slowest closer at Regal would have to be Ben
I‘d like to think it’s Jasmine, but I can’t even pretend
Never in my life have I seen shit done so slow
It’s like tryin to be an Olympic sprinter, missin u’r big toe
You just suck at what you do, I guess that’s just him
When other people are hunched over, he goes over and gives rim
Why can’t any of these dumb Regal people drive
They’ve been in so many accidents, surprised their alive
Josh drivin a car, getting hit from behind
Maybe cause he was on tha wrong side of tha solid white line
Swervin like he was drunk, like he was at my crib
Drank so much, threw up over himself, he needed a bib
He’s a baby, 2 Smirnoff Ices and he starts to black out
He tried to tip a 3rd, he couldn’t, and he had to back out
Josh didn’t even dress up, why’s he always no fun
His face is always scruffy, should of came as a bum
I thought he was jokin when he said he brought his mom
I damn near died of shock, he came in and Karen came along
Who goes to a party wit their mom by their side
On top of that, she out drank him, if I was him, I woulda died
Tha shame & embarrassment of getting’ out drank by your mom
His only reply “At least I drank more than Tom”
Tom comes to my party dressed as an Amish farmer
Huge fork and knife, tryin to eat me alive like Jeffrey Duhmer
Lookin’ country from Alabama, I’m talking straight white trash
Like he was in tha KKK about to lynch my ass
He put tha white sheet on his head, so I pushed him out tha door
Told him tha all-white party was down tha street a lil’ more
I was upstairs playin’ flip cup and Adam Maid walks in
Tha other team tried to use him to help them win
If only they knew, at flip cup, an RIT student never wins
But there’s always the exception of me and my friends
Adam drank and drank, till his ass got wasted
Next thing you know, Erica’s tongue he tasted
He was grabbin her booty with his tongue down her throat
He said she’s nasty, cleaned his mouth with anti-bacterial soap
Us RIT kids, at party’s drink like champs
There’s just very few girls, tha ones there look like rats
But at my party’s, I get more girls than guys
So there’s a better chance we’ll get a female to ride
There was 85 people at my party, made 190 bills
But that can’t compare to all the fun and the thrills
A-double R-ika, that’s my ghetto bitch
Her talk about tha hood in Gates Chili makes me sick
There’s nothing hood about tha town of Gates
When she moved there, neighbors came offerin’ cake
Brought over 5-course meals on china plates
I ain’t talking spaghetti, try lobster and steak
She got in two accidents, tryin to sue when its her fault
Claim's she didn’t know the red lights on cars meant halt
Said, she thought RED meant Rev Engines & Drive
Told tha judge she didn’t know, dropped outta school at 5
She made it out alive, but it happened again
Aren’t her and Sheridan Wiggins kinda like twins
Sexy, ghetto, hoochy and they both talk back
Nice body’s and asses, and they’re definitely black
Not just their skin, but their gums and teeth
Under their finger nails and tha bottom of tha feet
Like they’re Fred Flintstone, drivin cars wit no shoes
Hoppin around from guy to guy like kangaroo’s
Arrika thinks she’s got money, her man’s a drug dealer
But told me, Doug and Kevin, next time we can feel her
Speaking of feel, Shannon hurts my feelings
Makes my eyes cry so much like I sniffed onion peelings
Every time in box, she says I’m a jerk and loser
So next time on break, I’ll really make sure I lose her
Leave her ass stranded over on Lyell Ave
Prostitutin’ herself for a few dime bags
I’ve seen her over on Monroe just struttin’ her stuff
And I saw cops take her away in tha handcuffs
I ball up paper, hit her with that and rubber bands
And she yells like Tawni whenever I turn on tha fan
She was too good to come to my party for Halloween
But took 2 months off from Regal to let off some steam
Chelsea’s tha meanest girls at Regal, always got an attitude
And gets pissed at me when I hook her lil’ bro up wit food
When she calls box, I tell her she can’t have a pass
But I always take rubber bands and tag her right in tha ass
Out of everyone at Regal, she’s tha 2nd most gullible
And tha worse person when it comes to bein’ loveable
Phillippa’s tha most gullible, believing everything you say
Like when you go to tha punch room, you gotta go thru café
So she walks all the way around, thinking she has too
She’s like Mrs. Peacock or Ms. Scarlet cause she has no Clue
The worst thing around, would have to be tha juice
It’s orange, but not O.J., I’m talkin about Syracuse
Tha sorriest college football team alive
There worse than the way Jim Barg can drive
I mean that’s bad as hell, but at least Jim has a chance
The other team scores before ‘Cuse gets out of their stance
Jim thought I was gonna leave him out, gimme a break
I’m on a roll and I shake, worse than an earthquake
Manager Kevin comes to my party dressed as a gorilla
Came in roaring, more like a chirp, like a chinchilla
I didn’t know who that was, but he became tha life of tha party
But after 3 minutes he turned out to be boring
He was good at flip cup, and drank his ass off
Only cause that gorilla outfit made his hands soft
That’s tha biggest kid I know, that’s how I’m gonna be
I saw him leavin Regal, went over and pissed right on a tree
When a customer has a complaint, he says “You want a pass”
Chris or Aaron’s reply “Customers can kiss my ass”
I’m sure we all know tha regulars who come in to watch Sneaks
You know tha motor cycle couple first in line every week
I guess he had surgery, his chest and stomach was all cut
Walked over to Aaron Baskin’s and lifted his shirt up
He showed Aaron all tha staples and stitches on his chest
He didn’t stress, that’s not tha 1st time he’s seen a man undress
He’s real uncoordinated when it comes to playin’ volleyball
More uncoordinated than Erica who ran into walls
At tha beach Aaron hit tha ball clear to tha lake
Another time he missed it, tha ball and his face had a date
Mott gives us nametags of any minor Shakespeare role
I told him, “How bout Bruckheimer roles” of course he said NO
Mott’s a poor sport, tha sour apple of tha bunch
I’d like to crush his head, like Captain Crunch
He’s been here longer, I get paid more, what’s that say for him
In 4 years workin’ here, he hasn’t made one friend
His glasses are so think, he see’s tha future in reverse
Has petite arms like a girl, might as well sport a purse
Chris Mott takes pride in putting up a standee
But no one at Regal cares, I think we all agree
When someone gets a phone call, Joy’s madd in a pinch
But at least 10 times a day, she gets a call from Vince
Me and Kevin get calls “This is Vince” its for Joy
10 times a day, 5 times a week, it starts to annoy
Congratulations to Bryan, his girls’ havin a daughter
He’s no longer a pimp, bout time you got smarter
Yo Bryan watch your back, I saw Kim wit some teenager
Followed them, they went all the way to Canandaigua
You betta take her to Maury, get a paternity test
Bring some tissues, cause it’ll probably turn to a mess
Good luck with that, I kno you’ll be a good dad
You gotta be good as something, cause you’re bball game is sad
Only 6-6 guy in tha world who can’t dunk
Me, Kevin, Randy & Mark all say u’r a punk
But we still love ya and we all gotta play again
But just like last time, u know you won’t win
Mike goes to clean a theater, somethin’s missin when he leaves
Come to find out, that theater was full of thieves
He had his own cup from home and put in on tha ledge
And someone stole it, Mike it was Ashley Aldridge
She always walk around with that look on her face
Like she’s totally lost, like her heads in outer space
She’s not that innocent, she hits on her sister’s man
Yea I know tha stories about you and Dan
I think Nicole’s got a huge crush on manager Aaron
Cause when he bends over, there goes her eyes starin
Sayin these small flirty things like she’s in middle school
And tha only girl who thinks Regal is so super cool
Thinks Regal is the greatest place to ever work on earth
Too bad this girls looks are more than she’s worth
Cause she’s cute as hell, but a little disoriented
Because of her, Geneseo is misrepresented
We all know tha type of girls they have down there
85 percent of them don’t even wear underwear
Trust me, she’s part of that 85 percent
She loves getting wit girls, goin out and getting bent
It’s ya boi C-H from tha ROC again
Spittin’ so hard, even Fabolous gasps for oxygen
This is like sneakers wit no holes, no strings attached
Anyone I spoke about, against me, is a mismatch
Y’all talk out ya ass, like you don’t need ya mouth
But this rap, tha truth is the only thing talked about
This is just to make you laugh, hope it brings you cheer
Why do I think Tia, Jayme & Erica will shed a tear
Those are 3 of my favorite girls at Regal, I love y’all
Not just those 3, I kinda like you all
But if I made this any longer, I’d be a script
For those not mentions, be thankful you got skipped
There’s lots of new people, to early to hear your rumors
But on tha next rap, you’ll be the early bloomers
The very first people I put in tha rap
Next one will be shorter, so you won’t have to nap
If you think you can do better, then I’m testin ya
Cause I got aim, I ain’t talking bout tha messenger
To be truthful and honest, I love this Regal game
I’ve got tha mindframe to make plain things never be tha same
Sorry these people were my latest statistic to a diss
But its time to sign off, from tha one and only C-H Ris